Potpourri

This post will be a narrative abomination. There is no beginning, no middle, no end, just a string of observations that lacks transitions from one point to the next. Common sense (and decency) dictate that I don't do this, but I have to get these off my chest and won't be able to do so elsewhere.

First and foremost: Australians do not throw shrimp on the barbee. They eat prawns, and they boil them. My Aussie mate Jason has asked me to relay this back to civilization. He said, "I don't care who you've heard it from or how many times. We don't do that."

Second: If New Orleans is the Big Easy, Western Australia is the Big Empty. Once you get outside Perth, there ain't nothin' but a whole lotta nothin'.

Third: In our trip to the Southwest, we saw signs warning us that regions had been aerially baited with poisoned meat. The Australians developed a poison from peas that grow here. Native animals are immune because they eat the stuff on a regular basis and have for generations upon generations. Feral animals, in the meantime, die when they consume it. (Dogs, cats, and humans are also prone to this particular effect of the poison, which is why warning signs were present.) The Aussies call it 1080 poison.

Fourth: 1080 Poison sounds like a tax form to me. Well, it's April again. Guess I'd best make my way to the library, pick up my 1080 poison and give Uncle Sam his due.

Fifth: Women in Australia occasionally say "ta," to mean "thank you," much in the same way the word "cheers" is used. Men almost never say this. I can't think of a single word back in the States that is used by one gender but not the other.

Sixth: I have struggled, when speaking, to differentiate American football, football (a.k.a. soccer), and Aussie rules football. Last night, an Aussie helped me devise a system:
Soccer is just "soccer." Europeans may snub the word, but they'll know what I'm talking about. Aussie rules football is simply "footy." Australians shorten almost every word that consists of more than a few letters, and football was not immune to this effect. Most ingeniously (and I wish I could take credit for this), American football is "gridiron."
I am very happy that this was finally worked out - it was really beginning to bother me.

Last: Because Perth is 14 hours ahead of Denver, Yankees don't watch Monday Night Gridiron. We watch Tuesday Morning Gridiron.

That's it.